Why confidence and individuality matter more than comparison
Comparison shows up before almost every senior session.
It usually starts with a Pinterest board. A vision. A certain look. A mood that feels just right. Before every shoot, I collaborate with seniors and their parents to build that vision together. We talk through style, locations, outfits, and the overall feel they want from the session.
That part matters. A lot.
But there is something I always make sure to say early on. Those inspiration photos are a guide, not a measuring stick.
Because no matter how perfect a Pinterest board looks, the energy and emotion a senior brings into the session plays a huge role in how their photos actually turn out.
The Part Pinterest Cannot Capture
I remind seniors of this all the time. You can wear the right outfit. You can be in the perfect location. You can recreate the pose.
But if you are stiff, unsure, or worried about doing it right, the photos will show that too.
So I often say something that sounds simple, maybe even a little cliche. Dance, but pose like no one is watching.
When a senior feels tense, I ask them to close their eyes for a second. I ask them to imagine their favorite song playing. I ask them to picture themselves in their bedroom, dancing freely, not thinking about how they look, just enjoying the moment.
Sometimes I ask what that song is. And sometimes, we actually play it.
Because the goal is not to copy someone else’s photo. The goal is to capture you.
Confidence Changes Everything
I truly believe it is every photographer’s job to establish rapport quickly. Seniors need to feel seen, not judged. Comfortable, not rushed.
I do that through conversation. Through light joking. Through encouragement. And yes, through every photographer’s favorite word when it is genuine.
Cute. Cute. Cute.
I never say it unless I mean it. But when a senior hears that they are doing something right, something shifts. You can see it. They move from pose to pose without direction. Their body language softens. Their confidence starts to lead.
One of my favorite moments during a session is turning the camera around and showing them an image that hits the mark. That reassurance matters.
Sometimes, when a senior goes to change outfits, I will quickly upload and edit one image and send it to both the senior and their mom right then and there. The reaction is almost always the same. The spark in the senior’s eyes. The gasp from mom. That quiet eye-to-eye moment where they both realize everything is going to be okay.
That is when the session truly opens up.
A Real Example
I think about Lexi often when I talk about this.
We already had a connection through coaching and basketball, but the first thing she said when she arrived for her senior session was, “I am not sure how to pose.”
I reassured her immediately. You do not have to know how to pose. That is my job.
There is always a quiet moment at the start of a senior session when we walk together to the first location. That is where I talk through expectations, offer reassurance, and introduce the idea of RESET. It is a small moment, but it matters.
As the session went on, something clicked for Lexi. She moved from needing guidance to knowing exactly what she was doing. The confidence took over. The magic happened. Every movement felt natural. Every pose landed.
Watching that shift is one of my favorite parts of photography.
Today, Lexi is one of my C.R.E.W. members, and her growth is incredible. Her next mini session was effortless. She needed no direction. She owned the space. You can see it in every image.
If you want to see what that confidence looks like, you can view her gallery here:
Why This Matters
Your photos do not need to look like anyone else’s because you are not anyone else.
The best sessions happen when seniors stop trying to match an image they saw online and start leaning into who they are. When they relax. When they trust the process. When they allow themselves to be present.
That is when the real magic shows up.
So if you are worried that your photos will not look like someone else’s, let me reassure you.
They are not supposed to.
They are supposed to look like you.
— Cass
